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Breakdown

Split up completely. Words unsaved, ultimately, are the archives of my poetic mish-maszu. On My Polish Tao , however, I blogged about my experience with minimalist lifestyle. Welcome!

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It has been a month since we came back home. If I had only one word to describe how I felt during the first two weeks it would be - confusing. It's funny because it's exactly the same as I felt in the beginning of our journey in Denmark. However I knew what's here waiting for me. A lot of work(I'm working on it!) and people I haven't seen for ages. And yes, my dear friends, I'm glad to be back. But I would dedicate this post to all the people and things I learned to know in Denmark. I want to say how thankful I am having the chance to met you all. Thank you for loving and caring home - mom and dad, Sune and Thore. Thank you for all the good laughs and times you've given me during my stay. And people from school-my friends(classmates) and teachers. Thank you for letting me in and be apart of your lives. I'm doing great and I hope it's same with you all. I've learned from you a lot and I hope I gave you also something to remember. But I don't want to miss you, because I know this isn't some kind of a goodbye-forever letter it's just goodbye for now. I wish you all the best and of course - vi ses!

And special thanks to my teacher, Margarita Eero, without whom we would have never got the chance to do this.

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To obtain a private loan usually will not need to prove income. The most important that we gained confidence of lenders and of course, and signed the bill, and then honestly repaid the loan private.

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I am now certain that 3 months is a very very short time. Before going I had all sorts of fears, how everything would change and coming back I wouldn't have a life here I had before. It makes me laugh now - nothing has changed. Everything is the same and I Got back to my very old Routine Quickly. Honestly it Feels Like I HAD Been there for only a day. Nothing Ever HAS Flow by as fast as guiding those 3 months in Denmark DID. It Feels weird, like I hadn't Even Been there, like I have Memories That Are not in, like it WAS a dream. Time Flies.

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Estonia!





A week ago we landed, we fantasilist five after three months in Denmark, the homeland once again on the surface. Frankly, I still can not be summed up his emotions and to describe it all. It was a wonderful part of my life and I would not trade it for something never adopted. And, certainly did not leave it 3 months or nothing Parts of it as they see fit.
leaving his "second life" was sad, but it was not a farewell, because we see again sometime. I could tell that I had to say so the life of one, two Estonian and one of its own, Denmark, in both its pros and cons with. I believe that sometime I'll go back for a while because my hand is still the key to the doorstep.

Coming back on the train we met a very nice producer who could speak a few words and phrases in the Estonian language to say because he is a friend of Estonia, it was certainly driving home from one of the most surprising and memorable moments.

unexpectedly at the airport was nice to see a lot of people and a surprise on Monday morning was also very cute. We and others went very quickly and it is time to look after and did not seem that I have been away for so long. Coming back was a surprisingly good mood and full of emotions to share. Now I am more or less accustomed to re-Estonian school, but there are things you would like to change. The whole first week was very tiring - long days and a lot more noise and serious concentration. Väsin the middle of the school day and the hour it is very difficult to concentrate, thoughts of going for a walk for hours in the middle of these elements come to mind "second life". Immediately, as soon as is routinely returned to Estonia, and, fortunately, is not far off the summer.




My class in Denmark!


Everywhere is good, where you feel so good!

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Things are packed. Everything is ready to go except in my mind. Fails to arrive, now that's progress. Knowing that I had to stay three months in unfamiliar surroundings, I was trying to live up here as quickly as possible and then to become consistent. I am accustomed to take full advantage of the local life. Central City, the bus rides, school, people. This here is my life. Odd to think that it is not, after all. Now I am going to their''real''life back. It did not seem at all realistic. Olen täielikult omaks võtnud kõik siin oleva. Ei oska isegi midagi mõelda enam.

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Our time as an exchange student is almost over. I would like to stay at least one month more. Maybe then I’m ready to turn back home(or there isn’t never a right time), but I know it is impossible and saying goodbye will be much harder. I know it’s never easy to say goodbye or it’s normal to be sad, but I’m also very grateful for this opportunity. I can’t describe all these things what I have learned in here. No, I’m not smarter in some subject right now, but I have acquired so many new values and way of looking things. I have found here some very important persons to me. I know that one day I will see them.

Aarhus.


Lystrup, view from my bus stop

Boy. (Actually you are not allowed to make pictures, but I saw that a bit too late:)

Few days and I can see my sister;)

De hurtigste 3 maaneder i mit liv!

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"The Last Before the blog post blog post That Comes Before The Last blog post" - post

Here we are at the end of our long, troublesome journey. It's the last stretch of red gravel before the finish line; the last piece of dark concrete before the black-and-white-checkered flag falls; the last street corner before Burger King - everything is coming to a glorious end with various souvenirs and foreign chocolate candy and confetti and fancy new experiences and stolen bank credentials. To celebrate this I am giving you people a major treat. I have changed the font of this blog post to Verdana . Rejoice fellow font-enthusiasts.

Before I go off and start blabbering on about my feelings and other emo crap like that I'd like to give everybody a little update on what has been going on recently. Well, as they say in good ol' Texas, I dun' goofed . For, you see, I managed to dislocate my knee cap for the second time in my life:

It all happened last Saturday at my girlfriend's relative's birthday party. We were playing a harmless children's game an extreme sport called rundbold which reminded me of baseball rugby with medieval weapons and my team was getting their asses handed to them on a silver plate. I didn't notice that I was getting tired or anything and I wasn't straining myself as far as I can recall.
But then, suddenly, I jumped up to catch a ball and I felt a sort of intense buzz in my right knee. I don't remember my thoughts exactly, but they were probably along the lines of: "Oh God, not this shit again!" I didn't know whether my knee popped to the side when I was up in the air or when I hit the ground - all I know is that I screamed my lungs off when the pain train arrived.
Fortunately I had somebody special to comfort me there (unlike the last time this happened) and that helped me calm down. The ambulance arrived relatively soon and the doc gave me some nitrous oxide to help with the agonizing pain I felt. They told me to breathe in deeply, which I did accordingly.
The pain didn't quite go away but the gas got me high so what the heck - I breathed in some more. I had to prepare for them to lift me on the stretcher, so I decided to go all out and get in as much of that funny gas as I could. This way, I reduced myself into some sort of semi-conscious state - I could feel pain, think clearly and hear things with a cool echo and when they moved me it felt like I was being covered with a blanket made of wind.
When I came out of it after about a minute I experienced a sort of hallucination - or at least that's what I think it was. Two emergency doctors opened the door to the ambulance and stepped in one after the other. The weird thing was that they both had the exact same face. I saw a third man standing behind them, but fortunately he had a different face so I could stop losing my marbles. That's when I decided that taking too many drugs is probably a bad idea.
Long story short, they got me to the hospital and patched me up. I got a cool brace for my leg as well, which I'll have to send back in a few weeks. Then I'll be able to put on my pants and shoes without anybody helping me again.
Hell, I'm nobody to criticize the way doctors who save lives on a daily basis do their job, but I'd still just like to point out some differences between the way the Estonian doctors handled the situation and the way the Danish doctors did.
For one thing, the Danes gave me N ₂ O while the Estonians injected me with some sort of general anesthetic. I suppose the gas is more expensive, because the trip to the hospital hurt much less in Denmark than in Estonia.
Back home they let me suffer in pain on a hospital bed for about an hour or so before they actually did anything. And even then they first got a damned x-ray image of my knee and after that they popped the sucker back into place. The Danish doc pushed it back almost as soon as I got there and after that they made some x-ray images of my knee, which seems like a reasonable thing to do considering that I was suffering from a large amount of PAIN.
The first time this happened I had to wear a cast for two weeks and then a leg brace of sorts for about a month, but I only have to wear a brace for two weeks this time - no cast. I'm not too sure why this is so, but at least I'll get to walk like a normal person sooner.
The bad thing is that if I had been forced to wear a cast then maybe I could've stayed a bit longer in Denmark with the girl I love, but that's just wishful thinking, isn't it.
In conclusion, both hospitals were quite busy and I had to wait a long time, but the Danish hospital obviously had better equipment at hand. But in the end it really comes down to the doctors - the proverbial guardian angels of today - and how they use whatever they have been given to do what they can and help those in need. Nobody should be allowed to judge those people and what they do. I should be happy they even bothered to help somebody like me - I mean, as the Black Knight in Monty Python and the Holy Grail once said after having had both his arms cut off: "It's just a flesh wound."

Another thing that happened is that my English teacher decided to take a look at my written assignments at last and I received three 12's yesterday. That ought to look good on my record . (Seeing as 12 is the highest grade you can get...). Okay, I'll stop showing off now.

I have this whole week off which isn't really anything to be excited about because of that dumb leg of mine . I said good-bye to all of my classmates from 2.x with a small, fancy (magnificent) speech in History class last Friday. To be honest I never really got to know any of them, but I'm pretty sure they're all nice people. Pretty sure...

S'pose y'all want to hear a little something about my feelings and stuff like that. (At least if you're bored enough you do.) I'm not going say I miss anything from back home and even less will I begin to pretend I'm a poet with the old "I miss/love the X, the Y and the Z from back home"-shtick we've all heard before. I probably miss something from Estonia, but the problem is that I'm the kind of person who keeps everything portable. I keep my emotional attachments and whatnot on the move. I love books, but I can buy those everywhere, so there's no way for me to miss them. I love my family, but my mother calls me lazy and sloppy and my sister just wants me to join the army sooner.
And this is where I'll be having a problem when the time finally comes for me to leave. It may sound cheesy, contrived and childish to those of you who are older than me and think that age gives one some sort of leverage or right to judge the young and to those of you who think one's personal experiences give one some kind of sublime and undeniable ability to put oneself in my shoes and feel the world the way I do - it may sound like that to those few of you, but I've fallen in love with a Danish girl.
And there's no way I could just pack her up and take her with me. There's also no way for me to stay here and live the life of a vagrant in the name of love. I will, at last, have something to miss now. Back home what do I really have? Lots of homework and some canned food. But here in Denmark I have somebody to smile to and hug and say the nicest things to.
People call me cynical and sometimes too sarcastic, but hey I'm still human. Just because I write cynical things doesn't mean I'm an emotionless potato sack who is unable to express affection or any of those other girly things.
Well, maybe I got a bit carried away with that last part - I tend to do that a lot. And to those of you who think of saying something along the lines of "Oh you're young and you'll find someone else" or "You're too young to know what love is" or some other such condescending, ignorant horse****, you can shove that right up your grandmother's easy-bake oven.
That's about as personal as I'm willing to get on this subject. I'd prefer not to see any comments from the peanut gallery about it. I wrote it all just to illustrate how I feel right now.
And I haven't lost heart yet. I barely even think about all of that right now. There's no point in mourning over the loss of something when one hasn't lost it yet. I still have a couple of good days left with that special someone. It's not the end of the world yet and it won't be the end of the world when I leave.
Sadness is just a bunch of crap - hey, it's not the most profound statement you've ever heard, I know, but it's easy to understand at least.
How about this: In the grand scheme, living is basically walking through a shallow ocean of mud with no shoes on. You get stuck and you fall in face first and some of the mud gets into your underpants. And then you feel like you are mud, you feel like you deserve all this smelly crap on your shoulders, in your crack and then at last you find an island made of nothing but grass. And the sun shines on you and the mud dries off and the rain washes it away. And you get to feel like grass under sun.
Not too poetic or anything, but it gets my point across.

That's about enough for the feelings-part of this post. Come to think of it, right now I don't have anything else to write. I'm tired because of my leg and all the pressure we're going to be put under when we get home. I guess that's what we deserve - more work. My mind isn't working right and I don't know what to write.

Don't take this post too seriously guys - I don't know what I'm writing, good night.

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Scraping Bits and Pieces III


Lately there's been a tidal wave of long blog entries so I'll try to squeeze in, push my way through with elbows if necessary.

I don't have anything to add from my account about the educational/school system as I find that Tanel has done a good job collecting all the vital information you need to know. Good job, T- man!

The bicycle joke is growing old and mouldy by now, so I'll drop that subject. Weather? Got better topics than that (although it was around 16 degrees at some point).

Since the time in it's illusiveness is soon running out, I think more and more of one spesific thing: what I am going to take on board of a plane taking me back to my hometown besides 20 kilo of luggage?

To start with, for the departure date I have packed quite a number of imaginery suitcases stuffed with KNOWLEDGE . You think that it's fun just to casually blend into the scenery of a classroom as a piece of furniture during the lesson? Hell no! For all the time being here I've tried not to fall too much behind all the rest of the class and searched for topics myself. Living in a computerized area has it's benefits after all. Deoxigenartion process, the Aztecs, the survival of the fittest - all just a click away.

As a bonus to the previous point, my Danish has also escalated upwards. No, I'm definately not a Danish- speaking prodigy now, but I feel my relationship with this glotal, one of a kind language has moved towards the green zone. Not that I speak that much or my vocabulary has all the everyday words covered, but a point from which to kickstart again when home is there and waiting.

The second significant point is a bit personal, but let me throw some light on this smudgy point. Personal development . Experiencing a coctail of varying mood swings from gushing excitement to feeling of being deep down in a dark pit. Independence and responsobility being classified as the 'good' ones, lack of hope and losing inner peace on the 'bad' part of the scale.

New opinions and a more variant worldview, plus a better understanding of whom people really are. Who are being genuine and can earn the trust and sympathy, who are real ****heads and phonies. At this point I've had experience in both cathegories. Not extremely happy about the last one, but the experience itself is a valuable lesson.

The third thing I'd like to point out is that living with my host family and observing their relationships every day, their habits and traditions, I might aswell return home as a better daughter. Before I left, I had no significant problems or sharp disagreements with my parents, but the feeling was as if they had their own world and I was an occasional cosmis guest from another planet. I think that my host family has planted an idealised picture of a strong family in my head and I want to show some more love to my mom and dad now. When was the last time you actually acknowledged that your 'oldies' are always there for you?

To make leaving Denmark even harder, I feel like I already miss a couple of friends I've made her. Like real friends, not just the people you know by name and have partied together or went to the same class with. Real friends who know what kind of a personal you are. This doesn't count as an achievement, but those people I'm going to carry in my heart even after stepping off the board of the plane and blendind in with my life where I left it.

It's 4 in the morning and I've gradually run out of ideas. I hope, dear readers, that you won't mind me getting a little personal with you on a comfortable enough level for me. I really felt like sharing that piece of cake with all of those who made it this far.

Of course my blog post is followed by picture provement of my existence.


Friendly shark on the basement walls of an art university where I would LOVE to study.


The dog has nothing to do with this entry, it's just to awesome not to show.


Sunny Saturday at Mindeparken dragged all the people out of their hiding spots.


This two kiddos kept running around me and Sara as we sat in the park. I share the cuteness only in this blog, please don't use the picture elsewhere, because I don't want their parents claiming I'm a pedophile -.-

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Greetings again, or editorial comments

Meeting for the first time in the Danish language, I was quite confused. It sounded like someone who has diarrhea, and potatoes in your mouth would try to clean the water in your throat. Separate words seemed be impossible to distinguish between sentences. However, this language from a grammatical point does not seem right especially tough. The rules were, figuratively speaking, and even these were only a handful of easily understood and fast delivery.

why I started learning the Danish language of their own long before the start of the trip. The only tools that were for the English language Danish language textbook and audio files found on the Internet, which were consistent with the õpikuga. Although I did not start hitting the pronunciation exactly, I continued learning, nevertheless, because I knew that after all it has to be everything to me only in favor.

strings I'm in Denmark now spent nearly three months, I have already to say that I can talk about the Danish language at least at the basic level. I am able to participate in the simplest conversations, but I can tell, even while the other is too much to understand. My friends here have even claimed that they no longer dare to discuss their secrets in front of me. But I can not, unfortunately, quite often just understand, and it is regretted that poses a variety of contexts. For example, think of my "immediate brother," I've been a professional about the Danish language. Sometimes he tells me to quote a long story behind all that, and I am able to do is to nod and wait when it goes away. Sometimes, again, makes it fun (I can understand that, because he usually starts to laugh at himself when he makes fun of), and I will just politely smile on your face pull over and pretend that I understand what the hell is he trying to tell me. As in the previous

could turn out to learn the Danish language is most difficult to pronounce. In addition, the Danes have become accustomed to talking and pretty soon because I do not want to constantly ask them to speak slowly, I've been forced to become a better month period. I've often experienced that even though I know quite a lot of words in Danish language, it is difficult for me to find them all instantly, when I come I will chat to the Danes. So sometimes been instances where I have a conversation consists of only jaatavatest sounds, and almost nowhere else.

I'd like to point out a couple of my unprofessional observation by the Danish language and its speakers on: *

The first is the expression altså , which translated into Estonian as means (ie, Ing K ). As the official news meediaväljannetes and elsewhere have not been heard very often, I am compelled to believe that it is more colloquial, ebaformaalse expression. It is a word often used when there is a break in conversation: about the night as or mm in Estonian, although the two are ürgsed häälitsused rather than words. Since it is Risskov high school classrooms have been heard quite often, I encountered the opinion that this word is a parasite.

* Second, I noticed that in Denmark there is a lot of words in the language, which is actually several different combinations of words. Because let me rephrase the preceding argument difficult to understand, I bring a small example that eller andet Danish mean nothing, or nothing (literally one or the other, something Ing K) and pronounced it all one word to say etellerandet . If I do it for the first time I heard this unearthly sound because I wanted to know immediately what that means, but nobody could help me, because it was not really a word (as it seemed to me), but a combination of three words. Apparently, the reason why the word is so pronounced, the use of this close - this is yet another expression parasite.

* Third, there is a lot of compound words in Danish, of course, but quite often these words are pronounced "merged" in the same way as "disregarding". Example: the expression også Estonian for well or even more accurately well (k grad too). It consists of the words or og Estonian conjunctions and and så or or both / and then . If a Danish journalist, says: "Jeg har også en sten ", it means "I am also rock", but when he says " Og så har jeg en sten ", it means "And then I had a stone ". Similar to the pronunciation of phrases suggests that også og så and meanings are exchanged between the Danish language, for example, but not in Estonian or in English as well as ( too ) and and then ( and so / And then ) in no way synonymous.

* Fourthly, there are many words whose pronunciation is quite different from their spelling, such as seksten or Sixteen , which is pronounced approximately [ got-sten ]; jeg or I , which is pronounced [ JAI, and '; jaai ]; Sprog or language, pronounced [ sprou ], and so on. Some of the parts is often pronounce the word (perhaps not complete - maybe [ igge or ikk ' ]) Or by using the so-called glottal stop 'I say' the sound of speech sounds "sudden suspension of the throat (it is difficult to provide a better explanation). Thus, the Danish language a lot of different ways of pronouncing words, not to mention the linguaalsetest lies the purpose behind every human being (or, more simply idiolektist).

* Finally I would mention the name of two Danish words, the gender (ing k) common gender and neuter gender . In order to avoid complicated explanations: for example, if I need to say that I have one (an arbitrary, non-flat) stone, I say: "Jeg vil tags en sten. "Because this stone is arbitrary, and we do not know what it is, then we use the article en say a word sten is common gender noun.
When I go to the Danish language to declare that I am buying a house, I say I: "Jeg skal mellow that hugs." word hugs or house is neuter gender a noun, so we can use Article that . Worst of all is that this is yet another language (like German), where the rules of gender expression to determine whether or not is just so much that the most effective way of speaking learn all the words are just the types of mind with these articles.

though I'm not an expert, but these towns are some of my observations. Thought must also be something else later, I remember, but I certainly will not be bothered to write about. I'd like to talk a little bit in

obscene show, after all, as most of us are adults and are not afraid or ashamed of the innocent, simple sõnakesi . Lugemiselundid with weak or something similar, may be partly to deflect our attention below to go, etc., and watering flowers.

***

pips! - clear urine of interjection, though why anyone should be screaming "Ask!" or "Pissi!" when she is upset, I can not explain. Danes' Damn! "

Lort - perhaps a good old clean shit. Is often used as an adjective. (Lorte bukser pasased or shorts.) Very strong-sounding word - reminds droppings amazingly well. I recommend to everyone.

Fandme - fucking around . It also is often used as an adjective. Reminiscent of no pink clown. Boring words, I suggest boring people.

For helvede! - literally, " hell! " or "The Hell ! ". Lighter oath, recalls the corn flakes. Mmm, corn flakes.

Dum - obviously stupid . Recommended for pre-school.

***

I thought that it wrote a couple of his favorite words, but words which of the fans? So, unfortunately, or fortunately, ends yet another summary of my post without any philosophical or mõtteterata.

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What do people miss ...

I cannot speak for others, therefore I will only speak for myself. Of course I could say that I miss my home, family and friends. All the typical things that have worn into our minds as automatic answers whenever we hear that question. Still, there is so much more, not even to miss but just to remember.

I miss driving on the bus and knowing exactly where I am or driving out of Tallinn and being surrounded by trees the whole way, I miss the nature and the greenness of the trip. I miss waking up in the morning and feeling at home, the feeling of being in my comfort zone. I miss my room, my positive colors, surroundings, my own space.
I definitely miss the free-will I have back in Estonia, to come and go when I want, not having to report back to anyone. It's completely normal to do so, to have some rules in your home, but not in my apartment, my dear 144. Even after 3 months it's still hard for me to be home at a precise time or to text if I'm late. It sucks to feel bad about something that feels so natural to me in Estonia.
Another thing that I come close to every single day is school - I miss it. I miss really learning and participating in all the subjects. The feeling of getting new and interesting information every day, even though it's so nice to take a break and slack for a while, in the end I just started feeling empty, I wanted to study. Still do. Another thing about school is the behavior of people. I miss the jokes, the sarcasm, the child-like actions, the hyper-activeness. I miss it all. Here people are more calm, they just sit and talk, take a smoke, eat. In Estonia it's like a jungle. People are wild and they really do all they can to get the most out of those small breaks. I miss it so much.
Of course there is so much more, I miss the language, people passing me by and me understanding what they're actually saying or turning on the TV and catching a familiar show with Estonian subtitles and so on. Most of all though, I miss myself. I'm not the same here. It's hard to be myself considering my personality. I do that as much as possible, but people here aren't exactly used to weird, hyper active people, who talk way to much. I do my best though to show myself as much as possible and keep it at a normal level, but it's definitely hard to be sedate all the time.

Even though after saying how much positive things there are here. Sometimes I just drive the bus and remember small streets of Tallinn, places I've been to in the summer, certain lessons and so on. Estonia is in my heart.